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Articles
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Rebound Relationships
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A rebound relationship is one that begins shortly after the break up of a significant romantic relationship. A person that moves quickly from a painful break up to a new relationship is commonly referred to as being "on the rebound" or "rebounding".
A person on the rebound moves on to a new relationship without taking the time to heal from the failure of their previous relationship and the loss of their previous partner. A rebound relationship is often a distraction from the pain of their sorrow and a quick fix for their damaged self-esteem.
After a bad break up, a person on the rebound can be in state of emotional turmoil. They may feel great sadness at the loss of their previous relationship. They can be angry at their ex for breaking their heart. Their mind is often filled with questions of why their relationship failed and what they could have done to stop the break up. They may also feel that precious time was wasted on the failed relationship and feel the need to quickly move on with their life.
A person that is rebounding is often carrying a lot of emotional baggage from the break up and previous relationship. While their mind is trying to come to terms with their loss, they can be emotionally very needy. Their life and heart have a gaping whole that was previously filled by their ex. Their previous partner could have also filled much of their time during the week, but now they are alone with time to consider their sorrows. It can be a very lonely time.
In the midst of their loneliness and sorrow, a new person comes into their life, their "rebound". The rebound has a nice smile and is interested in them romantically. A person on the rebound will find their attention a wonderful distraction from the pain of the break up and a nice boost to their self-esteem. The rebound finds that their attention is warmly received. As the two start dating, they begin a rebound relationship.
The rebounding person finds that their rebound fulfills many of their emotional needs. The rebound empathizes with their new partner’s plight and offers emotional support. The excitement of the new relationship helps distracts the person on the rebound from the thoughts of their recent break up. The rebound relationship provides an opportunity to hide from thoughts of the previous relationship and avoid dealing with the pain of their loss. The person on the rebound finds that their loneliness is replaced with a new companion. A rebound relationship builds up their damaged self-esteem and makes them feel attractive and desirable again.
The rebound relationship can initially be very satisfying to the rebound. The rebound finds that their attention is longed for and warmly received. They may feel that they turned the rebounding person’s life around. They have rescued their new partner from their sorrows and put new joy in their life. That makes the rebound feel great about themself and the place they have in their new partner’s life.
Unfortunately, a person on the rebound isn’t in a healthy state of mind. They are not emotionally in a place to make healthy relationship decisions. They do not really know what they want. They are thinking about the moment, not the long term. That often leads a person on the rebound to make a poor choice for a new partner. They are likely to pick someone that meets their short term emotional needs rather than someone that can meet their longer term relationship needs. They often make compromises in a partner or in the relationship that they would not ordinarily make.
As time goes by, the rebounding person moves towards a healthier state of mind. As that happens they generally start to reconsider their new partner and the relationship. They often come to the conclusion that the rebound relationship got them through a tough time, but now they are ready to move on with their life. This can be a pretty rough turn of events for the rebound. They go from being critical to their rebounding partner’s emotional health and happiness, to being no longer needed and cast aside.
Getting into a relationship with someone on the rebound is not a sound strategy for finding a long term relationship. A rebound relationship will generally not have a long term future, but instead tend to fall apart as the wounded party heals. A rebound relationship starts with the rebound comforting the other person over their loss, but in the end, the rebound often ends up getting hurt.
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