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Articles
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Depths of Love
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Jaime Racette-Karpathio
http://www.new-dating.com/
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What is Love?
I once met love and he spoke to me; there are things that the eyes just cannot see, they say that the eyes are the gates to the soul but sometimes love is blind. Love is the shadows that lurk in the night, love is the
Sun that shines so bright. Love is what you make it to be, but only you can set love free. So if love is a song please sing it to me; if love is freedom than let me be. If love is a fairytale than show me a happy ending, if love is a dream, than let me sleep, if love is silence than donòÀÙt say a peep, it's all in how we perceive it, we have to believe in it. So what is love? That's up to you. I want to share my love, but with who?
Depths of love
When the lines of communication become obsolete it's hard to connect on a mental level. Everyone falls in love differently and everyone deals differently. When I first met my ex I wasnòÀÙt attracted to him, we hung out, we partied, then my curiosity got the best of me and I slept with him. I guess we started off as friends first, now that we are officially broken up the friend factor doesnòÀÙt exist without the sex. I became comfortable and still have a hard time letting go. We fought all the time, our jealousy got the best of us, I wanted to settle down but wasnòÀÙt happy with the circumstances so I figured that if I gave him his space and took off that somehow it would bring us closer. That heòÀÙd realize what he had, but it blew up in my face and I started taking off more and more. Infidelity became a factor and no matter how much I tried nothing was good enough, he complained that I was unstable, that I was too moody, but I didnòÀÙt trust him and he never gave me a reason to. We used to have fun together, I loved him deeply, still do, but things will never change and the boomerang effect is getting tiresome. Doubt, betrayal, infidelity, harsh words, leaving me unfulfilled inside. Sexually we connected in a deep, passionate way, but it was just one big emotional rollercoaster, too many wrongs that donòÀÙt make a right. The lines of communication faded, words were shouted rather than whispered. He never talked about his feelings and I became an emotional basketcase. Love and lust were made to work side by side, he fulfilled me sexually, but emotionally and mentally I felt empty. My heart is slowly repairing itself and I am trying to move on, but I need closure, I need to stay away. He'll never change his ways, too many chances. I still act like Iòsm taken, even though he made it clear that I'm single but as long as I'm still in his life, in the same town, he figures that he still owns me. I just want to be happy. With or without him my life will go on. Six years coming and going, I just want to plant my roots, and settle. He replaced me a long time ago, he can't let go either even though he shares his heart with someone else, so if he can date why canòÀÙt I move on also? So once again I left to my own defenses. He still manages to tear at my heart, leaving me confused once again, and I don't know what I want. I just continue to let him get to me and he knows he can. I guess we out grew the chemistry that brought us together in the first place. Love cannot be controlled; it either happens or it doesn't, I'm going a little nuts, not knowing what to do. There are those who tell me that I can do better, that love is blind and I have to get in the game rather than sit on the fence. Emotional fantasies overcome my dreams, filling the gap that is empty. Fairytale syndrome. Avoidance became so entrenched. Sex was hugely important, and without it felt like we were freefalling. I realized that having a permentant sexual partner was great. Sex is important but there is more to a relationship, the little things that keep it going, I rather have love than some romp in the sack, an emotional attachment rather than some meaningless one night stand. Is a happy ending possible; is there room for love and honesty a well-balanced relationship, where every need is being met? Is it possible to give up all these games of the heart? Let go, hold on is it a no win situation. Am I destin to a happy ending? I figure that establishing distance will put everything in perspective: that my instincts will kick in and I will know just what I have to do.
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Jaime Racette-Karpathio
http://www.new-dating.com/
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