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Articles
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The types of Men Who Cheat
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From the one-night stand to the long-standing affair, there are three types of men who cheat, according to infidelity expert Ruth Houston, author of Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs. It's important for women to be able to identify the type of man who is prone to infidelity and learn how to short-circuit an affair to prevent it from ever occurring.
1. The Recreational Cheater
Cheating is a game for this man. It's a fun sport – almost competitive in the drive to "win" and not get caught.
2. The Seasonal Cheater
He seeks out a time and place where his affair will be camouflaged. Is there any better time for that veil of secrecy than when the wife is away on vacation? Because so many men do this, summer is known as the No. 1 season for infidelity. Men who would otherwise not cheat are often tempted in the summer because it's just so easy to pull off.
3. The Opportunistic Cheater
He is more circumspect than the other types of cheaters, only straying when an opportunity presents itself where he is assured of not getting caught.
If he does cheat, should you take him back?
"If the cheater is genuinely sorry, has severed all ties with the other woman and is willing to fully cooperate and do the hard work necessary to restore the relationship and rebuild the broken trust, then you might want to consider taking the cheater back and giving him... a second chance," says Houston. However, there is a big BUT that follows this advice.
Only take him back if the infidelity occurred under the following circumstances:
– An isolated incident, such as a one-night stand.
– Under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
– While going through a midlife crisis.
– As a misguided response to a life crisis, such as the death of a loved one or the loss of a job.
– In cases of sexual addiction, where the cheater is seeking or willing to seek medical or professional help.
"Forgiveness shouldn't be handed over on a silver platter. It's something you need to make the cheater earn," Houston warns. "Otherwise, you're only setting the stage for the cheating to happen again."
She says the cheater should not be given a second chance if he continues seeing the other woman, lies about any aspect of the affair or is known to be a habitual or serial cheater who has had affairs in the past.
Cheaters shouldn't be forgiven if they feel no guilt or remorse, think it's their right to have an affair or want to just proceed as if nothing happened. "The biggest obstacle to taking a cheating spouse or significant other back is the fear that the cheater will cheat on you again," says Houston. "It's a valid fear, and the only way to overcome it is to become thoroughly familiar with both the obvious and not-so-obvious signs of infidelity. This way, you'll know right away if the cheating is still going on or if the cheater is on the verge of cheating again."
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